Is There Someone You Need to Forgive?

There seems to be a special day, week or month for everything under the sun, from candy month, fight the filthy fly month (hear! hear!), national donut day, flip a coin day, ad infinitum. I knew there had to be a website of such stuff and here is one: www.holidayinsights.com

But I recently became aware that since 1994, there is a day set aside as "Global Forgiveness Day" coming up on Aug. 27. www.globalforgivenessday.org/global_forgiveness_day.html

Of course, some religions practice their own forgiveness day; in the Jewish faith, there is Yom Kippur Day of Atonement. In the Christian religion, Ash Wednesday is a day associated with forgiveness and repentance.

I have written on this topic at various times and most recently wrote about the need to forgive ourselves. I wrote about a man asking how to get to the place where he could forgive himself for past infidelity for which he had long since asked his wife's forgiveness. He was unable to fully forgive himself. (See www.thirdway.com/aw/?AID=269)

One reader challenged the concept of self-forgiveness. "Your recent [article] that dealt with forgiving self caused me to consider the issue more deeply than I ever had before," wrote Matthew Beal. Matt teaches and counsels college students in a discipleship program called Master's Commission (www.fmmc.com). "We frequently deal with issues of deep regret and sin in which it is painful both to remember and to let go of the shame."

Matt goes on, "As I read your article I realized that forgiving ourselves is really not possible. Just like if I owed a man one million dollars, I could not forgive myself of that debt. Only the one to whom the debt is owed can forgive. However, I think that when we speak of forgiving ourselves we generally mean something more along the lines of accepting forgiveness. That can be difficult indeed."

"I think that the distinction may be quite important. To accept forgiveness is a God-centered action in response to His grace. To forgive myself has the potential to be a self-centered escape from feelings of guilt, shame, conviction, or remorse. The danger would be acute if people were to 'forgive' themselves apart from receiving God's forgiveness through repentance and faith in Christ. That could be deadly, like a narcotic for the soul. At the same time, once that forgiveness has been given, to then accept it is like the consummation of the act. And therein is great freedom and healing for the soul. Strangely, that can be incredibly difficult at times. I think that your article, if taken in the correct sense, could greatly help people in accepting forgiveness.

"Those are the thoughts that occurred to me in reading your article It simply occurred to me in that sense for the first time."

I think Matt makes a very good point, that forgiving ourselves is more like truly accepting forgiveness and "owning" it. For my friend who was desperately seeking forgiveness, perhaps it is also a matter of accepting the forgiveness that had already been extended by his wife.

Is there someone you need to forgive? Perhaps you can use the occasion of Global Forgiveness Day to finally get around to dealing with an old or new wrong.

Finally, one last website on this topic, with moving photos and quotations which might be inspiring: www.forgivenessmovie.com

If you're interested, there is more information about:
The most important event of all time and
The most important Book of all time.

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Contributed by Melodie Davis: MelodieD@MennoMedia.org Melodie is the author of eight books and writes a syndicated newspaper column, Another Way