Picture Perfect

The news was disturbing. What did they mean in saying that I needed a new publicity photo?Hadn't I just had a new photo taken... when was it... ten years ago? The bigger factor to consider was that I only had one chin in the ten-year-old picture. Since hitting age forty, I had discovered an additional chin every year or so. Now, if I raise my head to reduce the number of chins, I get a photo that's more of an "up the nose" shot. That's certainly an attractive look. I figured that I'd use the one-chin photo until Jesus comes again (and gives me my glorified, uni-chinned body).

Besides, don't these people understand how difficult it is to plan that one good hair and clothes day of the quarter to land on the same day as the photo shoot? Everyone knows that before a photo shoot, you have to endure three weeks of salad; only salad. And a good hair day? That's more complicated to predict than a solar flare. You never know when the perfect, photo-worthy hair day is going to pop up.

I reluctantly agreed to have the new photo made anyway, even though I cheated for two and a half of the three salad weeks. I knew it wasn't going to be easy when the day started with a hairdo that reminded me a little of Einstein's. "Oh well, at least I'll look smart", I thought.

The photographer asked chatty questions about my family as she arranged my shoulders this way, and my head that way. She put my right arm in, I put my right arm out, but at least I fought off the urge to shake it all about. When I mentioned my five kids, the chipper lady tried to offer a compliment: "Wow, you look pretty good for a person who has had five kids."

What did that mean? Could she just have easily said something like, "Wow you don't look half bad for a person who's been plastered by a giant cement truck?"

I made a mental note. The next time I have to get a new photo made, I'm taking a friend along for moral support. I have friends who could have taken this girl (in the most loving, Christian way, I'm sure). It's always good to have a friend in your corner.

If you're experiencing a bit of a lean friendship time, let me encourage you to invest some time in developing one or two. Proverbs 15:17 says, "Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred." I think that means that a photo shoot with no friends can be compared to three weeks of salad, but having a friend along is better than an all-you-can-eat buffet with a build-your-own sundae bar.

Everyone needs a good friend. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls for he has no one to help him up."

Good friendships don't develop without work. Everyone who wants to have a good friend must become a good friend. We need to learn to love others with the unselfish, self-sacrificing love of Christ. Jesus said, "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you" (John 15:12).

We become a good friend to another when want the best for that person, even if it means we're called to sacrifice our own needs and desires. Romans 12:10 instructs to "Honor one another above yourselves." We're instructed to love with a Jesus kind of grace and with His kind of humility and patience. Ephesians 4:2 says, "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."

"Bearing with one another in love" means being a loyal friend and learning to repeatedly forgive. Colossians 3:13 tells us to "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." And Proverbs 17:17 says, "A true friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need." (TLB)

We need to develop "photographic memories" regarding our friends' needs, yet keep the ability to snip up an offenses, forgiving without reservation, without even hanging onto the negatives.

As for my publicity photo, let's just say that I'm not exactly ecstatic over the negatives on that one either. And I'll probably be living with them for another ten years.

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Rhonda Rhea writes for dozens of Christian publications and speaks at conferences and events across the country. You can find her newest books, "Soup for the Soul-Tastes Just Like Chicken", and "Amusing Grace", at your local Christian bookstore. "Who Put the Cat in the Fridge-Serving Up Hope and Hilarity Family Style", will be available in March. Rhonda's husband, Richie Rhea, is a pastor in Troy, Missouri. You can reach them through her Web site.