How to Cope with Different Workstyles

The Semi-Truck workstyle is one in which a husband comes to his wife, forinstance, with a half dozen ideas for things they might do on their vacation.He fully expects his wife to come with her own ideas and be prepared todiscuss and negotiate. When she responds with "Well, I can see you have itall planned for us again," the husband is dumbfounded. The person with thisworkstyle moves ahead, expecting others to do the same; his problem may bein seeming more authoritarian than he wishes to be. "Who would ever admit that he "goes after issues aggressively"?, this man asked the presenters.

"Well, I like to do that," said his wife, proving that opposites arefrequently married to each other, or work in the same office or factory.When we understand that we have genuine differences in workstyles, it takessome of the frustration out of getting along. It helps to do a bit ofanalysis. Most of us genuinely want to know how we can avoid exasperatingour mates or our work partners.

Then there's the "Human Radar" who enjoys being sensitiveto the needs of others and making others happy. But this person is in dangerof being so accommodating that she becomes a doormat, may be seen as wishywashy, or just plain silly (trying too hard to harmonize with others). Shemay talk or laugh inappropriately. What she may need is attention andaffirmation.

The "Turtle with a Computer" sometimes frustrates others with a mound ofslow questions and comments that seem like foot dragging orcriticism. A person with this style may become unresponsive and defeatedwhen he is faced with too many questions. "You don't have to answer metoday, but could you think about... " is a helpful way to give some latitudeto this kind of person.

The person who barrels ahead ("Semi-Truck") with ideas and plans may seempushy, especially when others don't know how to respond. The natural leaderthen becomes even more pushy if he doesn't seem to get a response. What thistype of person needs is an immediate response such as "I'll get back to youtomorrow with my ideas for our vacation."

Finally, the "Bicycle Built for Two" person becomes frustrated or feelsmartyred when she has to function alone or has too many demands to meet atonce. In addition to lending a hand to this type of person, allow her timeto back off and eventually she might see things in perspective.

There are probably as many different individual workstyles as there arepeople, so these generalizations may not be helpful to your particularsituation. But after being married for almost 25 years and working in oneplace for over 25, I think one of the most helpful things is to try to keepan objective outlook. Try not to take things personally, and communicatehonestly when someone does something that perplexes you.

Its fascinating to discover what makes other people tick- or ticked off. Trying to understand our co-workers or spouse always pays off big dividends.(For more help, see the book, Communication at Work, by Patrick Fraleigh andSusan Gilmore.)

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Contributed by Melodie Davis from her weekly columnANOTHER WAY (http://www.thirdway.com/aw/).For information on using Another Way in a local newspaper, contact:ANOTHER WAY, 1251 Virginia Ave., Harrisonburg, VA 22801-2497; or call1-800-999-3534; fax at 540-434-5556; or email me at:Melodie@mennomedia.org