Thinking Of Divorce? Part III

Whatever the roadblock may be that is causing you or your spouse to consider the legal proceedings of divorce, your goal should be to lift the blocks out of the way so that truth may be uncovered.For example, you are fed up with your husband's overly possessive and demanding ways. Professional counseling could reveal the source of this negative behavior, and rather than chucking your marriage out the window, you both can work on understanding and resolving this particular unacceptable behavior. The husband could have come from an impoverished family where they not only had very little, but his father abandoned he and his mother. The trauma he endured as a child may still be affecting him today, but in a more sublte shape and form. Petty jealousy and possessiveness could be signs of repressed fear of losing his own family.

I am a huge proponant of goodprofessional counseling. If it doesn't work for you, you have lost nothing, but if it works to heal a wounded marriage, you have gained everything! I'd much rather see couples spend a few hundred dollars on marriage counseling than extravagant legal fees for divorce proceedings, child support and alimony, and possible years of therapy to young children who have been traumatically affected by the after-effects of divorce. I have spoken with many people who regret their decision to divorce, and wish they would have mutually tried harder to make marriage work. Many of these same couples are now experiencing difficulties in marriage number two!

No marriage is perfect because no human is perfect. If we leap in to marriage expecting constant Nirvana, we are only setting ourself up for disappointment. The reality is, successful marriages practice the art of compromise and care.

If you are a person who has already divorced, know that although God abhors divorce, it is not an unpardonable sin, so there is most certainly forgiveness for those who repent. As the Scriptures tell us, "go and sin no more." (John 4:1-24, 8:10, 11) Divorce, when it occurs, should not be followed by feelings of resentment, jealousy and bitterness, because what good is repentance from sin if we replace one sin with further evils? All of the above negative emotions will simply harm your own mental, physical and spiritual health, so the release of sin must be thorough if we are indeed to reach for a better way; God's way. For your own welfare, and for the sake of any children involved, as difficult as it may seem, pray regularly for all members of your family, even the former spouse, so that satan will not be able to use any negative emotions against you. Hate begins as a small seed which can grow as quickly as a weed, so replace hate with love, and God will reward your efforts. Divorce is not a solution to a marriage problem. God is. Through Him all things are possible.

)This is part three of a three part series.

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Contributed by Melanie Schurr (Copyright (c)2003 Melanie Schurr) Melanie Schurr is author of "Ecstatic Living Ecstatic Loving: How to have more peace and joy in marriage, and life in general by walking in harmony with God," and "Son Salutations: A refreshing collection of modern inspirations for those who seek God each day." For more information, visit her web page at www.angelfire.com/mi/melschurr