Peace From A Painful Past

I know a woman who was abused as a child;regularly beaten by an alcoholic father. This samewoman is now a grandmother, and she has yet to find peace with her past. For her, life seemsvoid of joy, and each day dredges up painful reminders of her abusive childhood. Decades oftherapy and medication have done nothing to heal her deepest emotional wounds because shepermits them to exist every time she entertains thoughts of them, and asks her self the sameround of unanswerable questions such as, "Why me?" "Why didn't I fight back or tell someone?""Why did God allow this to happen?"

Little does this woman know that each time she punishesherself emotionally with these questions, she is allowing herself to be a victim again and again.Her alcoholic father is now deceased, but the abuse continues, and this time, it is by her owninvitation.

There is a time to make peace with the past, there is also a time to let go of it when itsburdens become too heavy to bear. We must give ourself permission to let go, and to have noregrets in doing so. Only we can determine what is emotionally and spiritually more healthy todo regarding our past. Using my own life as an example, there are bits of my past I have had tolet go and bury, and there is the majority I have simply made peace with. Burying the pieces ofone's past which are too painful to hold on to is not a denial of the past, but a positive steptoward healing and happiness. If we are to have peace and joy in life, we must be free of thosethings which weigh us down, and this includes the effect of refusal to forgive those who havenot lived up to our expectations.

Before we can make peace with the past, we must we willing to offer forgiveness where it isneeded regardless if it is or isn't asked for. Forgiveness is not something we only do for others,we do it for ourself so that we can begin our own healing. The refusal to forgive allowsbitterness, resentment, anger and hatred to fester in one's heart, and this is not only spirituallyand emotionally unhealthy, but may also cause physical ailments related to stress. All of thesenegative emotions serve to further zap happiness from our life, so if our goal is to bring peaceand joy in, then we must be willing to do everything possible to make sure it can reach us andnot be hindered by any roadblocks. Chances are, in my own life, I will never fully understand mychildhood, but who says it is necessary to do so? Do we completely understand what makesroses red, and what makes birds fly south for winter? Do we know why some people havediseases and some don't? So, even with this lack of complete understanding, we must learn tomake peace with the limitations of our own knowledge, and place our trust in the hands of God.

When we learn to make peace with the past, a wonderful benefit is that this ability begins torun over in to our daily life. Grudges are no longer carried as long, frustration is sooner vented,and forgiveness is more easily distributed. Even our ability to more clearly communicateemotions becomes strengthened, and thus, helping to peacefully end minor disagreements ormisunderstandings.

So you see, being a peacemaker, whether it be towards the past or present, is, in actuality, agift to ourself. If we allow pride to prevent peace from reaching us, then the person mostnegatively affected will be us. If someone in your life needs forgiving, even if that someone is YOU, call out to God and ask Him to show you a better way.

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Contributed by Melanie Schurr (Copyright (c)2003 Melanie Schurr) Melanie Schurr is author of "Ecstatic Living Ecstatic Loving: How to have more peace and joy in marriage, and life in general by walking in harmony with God," and "Son Salutations: A refreshing collection of modern inspirations for those who seek God each day." For more information, visit her web page at www.angelfire.com/mi/melschurr