Just Hangin'

Then they were both chosen to represent their schools at an area-wide coaches' clinic. So they car pooled to the clinic. David was pleased and somewhat surprised to learn that Roger was not only a good soccer player, but a genuinely nice guy. He, too, fretted about grades and about other players who were better than he was. He often didn't feel like practicing even though he loved the game. In short, Roger was human.

When they got home from the clinic, David's father asked him how it went. "Oh okay, but the best thing was riding over with Roger," and David told his dad about what he had found out. Life is not so much about the job you have, the college you go to, the events and activities you participate in, but about the relationships formed.

Some cultures know this better than others. I'm told that in many places in Africa, when you are visiting a new village or home, there is an expected protocol of taking a certain amount of time to just check in with each other and visit, before getting around to the business at hand, whether it is an actual meeting or a meal together. The same way with goodbyes: one must never just rush out, but take time for blessings and conversation with each person in the room before leaving. Life is about relationships. Somewhere along the line we discover this fact. I need to be reminded often. Christian faith itself is about a relationship with God through Jesus.

Relationships do not come easy for me. I guess you might expect that of a writer, who mostly works in solitude. As a child, sometimes I used to hide in the bathroom stalls after church rather than participate in the small talk that everyone else seemed to be enjoying.But I have found three things that help me, and I offer them here, not as an example, but in case they give anyone else inspiration to do better in the art of forming relationships.In social settings, like after church, I try to think ahead of one or two people to seek out and talk to about something in particular, whether it is a piece of business, inquiring after their child or grandchild, or simply to compliment them on something. That saves me from having too many "Hi, how are you?" "Just fine" exchanges.

Two, when I am having a conversation, I try to really focus on the other person: turn, give full attention, and look them in the eye. This may not do as much for the other person as it does for me. It forces me to concentrate and listen better.

And three, it is never an ideal time to get together with people, have lunch or invite someone over. There is always an excuse: the kitchen needs painting, I just got back from a trip, or the kids have too much going on. But just do it. Pick up the phone and call someone, even if it is just to talk.

Today's young people - teens and young adults, seem to be pretty good at this art of just hanging out, talking, enjoying each other. Maybe it's something I can learn from them.

If you're interested, there is more information about:
The most important event of all time and
The most important Book of all time.

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Contributed by Melodie Davis from her weekly columnANOTHER WAY (http://www.thirdway.com/aw/).For information on using Another Way in a local newspaper, contact:ANOTHER WAY, 1251 Virginia Ave., Harrisonburg, VA 22801-2497; or call1-800-999-3534; fax at 540-434-5556; or email me at:Melodie@mennomedia.org